I'm now attending a protestant service on Sunday. Grace Church meets at a local university. It reminds me of my experience at St. Matthias Church (no link because their web site no longer has a history page) when I was in my early 20s (we met in the gym at Green Valley Elementary School).
My Traditional Latin Mass experiment began with Christmas Eve Midnight Mass at St. Mary's Church. Due to the long distance, I turned to St. Martha Church at the beginning of 2016 since it was closer and they lacked singers for their "choir" (thus it was an opportunity for me to resume choir singing).
- Anarchy in the choir. No leadership, no rehearsal, no advance planning, no commitment by members, no recruitment or desire to grow. I learned that no one was in charge although the church's choir director acted as the organist and director. However, she later denied responsibility and essentially declared that the choir for the Traditional Latin Mass was an informal group (since she wasn't being paid for this Mass). "Rehearsal" time was limited to about a half hour before mass; that included deciding what pieces to sing (which depended on who showed up). Some of the singers were in the "official" church choir which sang at an earlier mass. The Latin Mass seemed like it more a hobby for some, because they didn't have something else better to do.
- Anarchy in the clergy. The priest who had long been involved with the Latin Mass at St. Martha's left to help out a start up contemplative order in the mid-West. The Bishop assigned a priest who was not trained in the Latin Mass to be the chaplain and say the mass. He only said Low Masses and never talked with us. He was supposed to celebrate his first High Mass on Easter but he didn't show up and we had a (lame) substitute.
The Latin Mass was separate from the regular Novus Ordo parish. There was virtually no interaction or coordination between the two groups. The parish bulletin merely printed the internet URL for the Latin Mass group. The parish web site also only had a link to the Latin Mass website rather than include it as part of the parish information.
The last Sunday I attended (May 1st), there was only three of us for the "choir." One of the substitute priests, Fr. D. Kolinski, offered Mass but switched from the regular Sunday theme to an obscure Feast Day (St. Joseph the worker) without any advance notice. This changed all the readings, prayers (and hymns).
- Pope Francis's destruction of the family. I cannot overemphasize how significant Pope Francis's attack on the institution of marriage and the contributed to my recent departure from the Roman Catholic Church. This man is destroying the RC Church and selling out traditional values and the pro-life movement. When I started in January, I sensed that this was going to be a problem but the release of his document "Amoris Laetitia" on April 8th 2016 was essentially the coup de grace for me. However, I stuck it out a couple more weeks hoping things might get better.
- Apathy in the pews. It seemed like most people in the St Martha Latin Mass group were apathetic about what was happening in the overall RC Church. There did not seem to be any visible sign of improving the quality of the worship or the spiritual growth of the body. There was little community outside of the usual cliques. No one was aware of the marriage of our "cantor" (in part because she was another weekend singer and got married in another church anyway-and that is another tragic story in itself). Also see above regarding the separation between the Novus Ordo and Latin Mass sides of the parish.
- Alternatives. In April, I started listening to the daily broadcast of Renewing Your Mind by R.C. Sproul's Ligonier Ministries. I found the half hour broadcast to be a stimulating way to start my day. In addition, Ligonier promotes a lot of informational resources as a thank you for a gift of any amount. There was so much of interest to me. I wondered if perhaps my Sundays could be spent more productively by studying at home. Ironically, as this thought was presenting itself, RYM was promoting the importance of attending local Sunday church services.
Ironically, just recently the Bishop replaced the pastor of St. Martha Church with a priest who also says the Latin Mass. That can only help but as you can see from above, that is only one piece of this puzzle.
I have been away from the RC Church for many years and expected that I would never return. This recent experiment/experience has convinced me that the RC Church that I was brought up in no longer exists (except for perhaps some isolated pockets). That is sad and disappointing but that is why I am no longer a Roman Catholic.
I did NOT leave the church, it left me. The realization that the RC Church essentially no longer existed, resulted me in trying other ways to experience religion and search for God. I was brought up with the concept that I exist to know God, love God, and serve God. I am still trying to do that.
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Links:
http://www.stmarthachurch-ct.org/
http://www.gracechurchministry.org/
http://ricketwrite.blogspot.com/2015/12/midnight-mass-in-latin.html
http://ricketwrite.blogspot.com/2016/01/another-latin-mass.html
http://catholicism.about.com/od/worship/g/Novus_Ordo.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amoris_laetitia
http://renewingyourmind.org/
http://www.ligonier.org/
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Written Saturday August 6, 2016.
