Alternate Title: All I Need is Love.
This post will give you an example of how I can sometimes flitter away my weekend. It will center on Loveđź’– but also has some interesting threads (to me at least). There seems to be three parts.
Part 1: It's So Easy To Fall In Love
I wasn't always like this (I think). Yesterday afternoon I turned on some music while doing paperwork. But this was not background, ambient music to fill the void. It wasn't relaxing classical, or soothing jazz nor one of those Youtube channels, such as Music for doing paperwork (I don't know if there is such a channel but ya never know).
Instead, I put on Denny Laine's Holly Days album. Actually, this is a Paul McCartney album from 1977 with lead vocals by his guitarist at the time, Denny Laine. If you listen closely you might be able to make out Paul and Linda's background vocals.* This album is short (~30 minutes) and pleasant, containing cover versions of songs by 1950s rock-n-roll legend, Buddy Holly. Note: McCartney had obtained the publishing rights to Holly's music, so this album was rewarding for him in more ways than one. But overall, it's toe tapping, light romantic pop music.
* On "It's So Easy" you can hear Paul and Linda in the background singing the names of the chords (literally: "A-D-E").
Part 2. Holly Golightly-Directly From My Heart
Buddy Holly leads to Holly Golightly. Holly Golightly saved my life in the same way as Paul McCartney did: the music strengthened me and lifted me up, especially during tough times. And even though McCartney's music is considerably different from Holly's, there is a McCartney connection (sort of) in this part of my post.
When I got on the computer later that evening, I went looking for one of my favorite Holly Golightly songs, a duet with a singer named Billy Childish: I Believe. It is a hauntingly sensual, tender love song.
Tell me your thoughts about me
and tell me you'll never leave, you'll never leave.
Place your lips unto mine, like a flower loves a bee.
Tell me your dreams about me,
and make sure that I believe, I believe.
That prompted me to explore some of the songs on their album.
During one of the songs, I saw a related song from a different album with a different collaborator, Directly From My Heart by Dan Melchior & Holly Golightly. I knew the song by Holly alone (see below) but this one was a stripped down, plodding version, almost acoustic, very simple. Intrigued, I noticed that the composer/lyricist was listed as Penniman, as in Little Richard (Penniman) another 1950s rock-n-roller and, like Buddy Holly, a huge influence on Paul McCartney (told ya there was a connection). McCartney did spot-on covers of Little Richard's "Long Tall Sally" during the Beatles live concert era and "Lucille" during the early Wings tours.
Knowing Holly's version, I wasn't making the connection with Little Richard. A YouTube search revealed three very different versions by Little Richard:
Several comments in these YouTubes pointed toward a 1969/70 version by Frank Zappa which follows the original Little Richard soulful gospel-like version but augmented with a jazzy violin.
But my favorite version is by Holly Golightly because its rocking swing arrangement is confident and with strong assurance. And it is short, barely over 2 minutes, which makes me want to play it again (and again).
Direct. Directly from my heart to you. (2X)
Well, You know that I love you. You know that I am so true.
And I pray. I pray our love will last always.
I pray. I pray our love will last always.
We'll be so happy together darling. I'll love you for the rest of my days.
Part 3. The Art of Loving.
After all that investigating music on the Internet, I needed a break (my ear did too). So I opened a box of books that I recently brought from my storage unit so I could unpack and place them in the new book cases I got for my office. When I lifted the cover off the box, staring up at me was the cover of Erich Fromm's The Art of Loving This particular edition (1956) is a hard cover that I picked up not long ago at a used book sale (50¢).
I remember reading a paperback edition of The Art of Loving when I was in college-for personal enrichment (see picture below). I don't think I really understood it at the time. I have vague recollections about how the description of loving God affected me. I also recall reading Carl Rogers but, like my Art of Loving reading, both have faded from my memory over the years so that I no longer recall anything specific.
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| The copy at the left is the newly acquired hard copy. The edition at the right is the paperback I read during college. |
What is rather odd, is what I read when I took the book out of the box and opened it to a random page (98-99). It seemed to me to speak to my ex-wife's relationship with me at times.
More complicated is the kind of neurotic disturbance in love which is based on a ...parental situation occurring when parents do not love each other, but are too restrained to quarrel or to indicate any signs of dissatisfaction outwardly. At the same time, remoteness makes them also unspontaneous in their relationship to their children. What a little girl experiences is an atmosphere of "correctness," but one which never permits a close contact with either father or mother, and hence leaves the girl puzzled and afraid. She is never sure of what the parents feel or think; there is always an element of the unknown, the mysterious, in the atmosphere. As a result, the girl withdraws into a world of her own, day-dreams, remains remote, and retains the same attitude in her relationships later on.
Furthermore the withdrawal results in the development of intense anxiety, a feeling of not being firmly grounded in the world, and often leads to masochistic tendencies as the only way to experience intense excitement. Often such women would prefer having the husband make a scene and shout, to his maintaining a more normal and sensible behavior, because at least it would take away the burden of tension and fear from them; not so rarely they unconsciously provoke such behavior, in order to end the tormenting suspense of affective neutrality.
I was stunned because I saw a lot of touch points in the above with Lynn (although not purely 100%). Upon reflection, I wonder if the above might apply in part to me too, especially when I was young (early elementary school?). This extract is from the chapter entitled, "Love and Its Disintegration in Contemporary Western Society." As I browse through the surrounding pages in this chapter I see several conditions (situation) that might apply to me (and Lynn). But too late.
In a way, it's kind of sad (and depressing) that so much of the counseling sessions we attended during our marriage were so useless. I don't recall anything like the above that might have helped us to understand our interactions. When I was at the Newman Center during college, I participated in a group session using the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator. What we learned really helped with my relationship with SueF. Before that, things had been somewhat cold and testy. But afterwards, when we better understood each other, our friendship warmed up and was pleasant and cordial thereafter.
After I put the book down, I went back to the computer and noticed an album cover in the Related column that appealed to me. Gerry Mulligan's 1963 album Night Lights is exactly the kind of calming instrumental bachelor pad jazz that I like to relax to (and dream of cuddling with a loving woman).
So, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make only love remains.
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Links:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI758t00hnE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRQfnhxY8kQ
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holly_Days
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holly_Golightly_(singer)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSJ5hG7ms_U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBB_sjMafIY
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Richard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLCFrPZKp9A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06YqWV-W-Lw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G514zjOciws
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB3HdC-Iums
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4_WXK4OYII
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Loving
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers%E2%80%93Briggs_Type_Indicator
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_Lights_(Gerry_Mulligan_album)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5PG7aRYS1k
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Written Sunday 24 January 2021.